The Last Laugh
by FanFicExcelsior15
Summary: The Joker is dead. Ivy and Harley are finally happy. Free of all charges, they can live like normal people. They live life with no regrets. But when an unexpected visitor appears at their door, their lives are changed forever. Additional characters include Red Hood. Some steamy stuff, not TOO bad. Occasional toned down violence. Current rating is T, might get up to M.
1. The Visitor

**Before we get started-anyone who read my Frozen story, sorry.**

**Disclaimer: Don't judge it's my first time writing this shit. ** **Right now it's T but it might get to M I'll let you know.**

Chapter 1

Ivy woke up with a feeling of immense content. Just the previous week, she and her greatest, only love had gained their freedom. The Commish had expunged their records, and dropped their arrest warrants. Wasn't their fault, the goddamn Joker was after them. But within that week, Harley had sold the secrets of the Joker's plans to the GCPD. The entire Special Crimes Unit, Gordon, Bullock, and Montoya had busted a cap in the while of the Joker's operation. Joker, of course, tried to run, but it appeared they had busted a cap in him, too. He fell to his death after tripping over his own busted kneecap.

Not that Ivy was complaining. She was finally alone with the love of her life, and they had made up for any and all lost time between them. They did so in a, shall we say, intimate matter. They previous night's escapades definitely outdid anything that had happened to them before.

By a long shot.

Ivy turned and gazed lovingly at the beautiful sight deeply sleeping next to her. Her face was one carved by angels. And take her word for it, the beauty of her face matched the beauty of every other part of her. She remembered the first time she confessed her feelings for Harley. It hadn't been pretty. Evidently, the only way she could relay any messages through Harley's thick pigtails was through verbal warfare and tears. The next time they were alone, however, they pushed past harsh feelings and created a night to remember. The last thing Ivy had remembered was Harley's tongue slipping inside of her before she fell into near unconsciousness. It truly was a night to remember.

Desperately trying not to stir her sweet blond angel, Ivy rose from her bed. A small whimper and a cry of "Ivy, please don't leave me" emanated from Harley. Ivy approached her side of the bed, and reached out a gentle, soft hand towards her love.

"Shhh. It'll be alright. Everything's fine now, we're safe. Rest now."

"Yeah, rest. Soft pillow...soft hands...Red..." Harley drifted back to sleep, no doubt dreaming about Ivy. Or glazed jelly donuts.

Ivy continued to her greenhouse. She opened the door and then was greeted by a series of high pitched mewling, and a warm welcome from Sprout the Plant Cat. Sprout leapt onto her face, licking and rubbing his grassy body all over her. Ivy's problem, however, wasn't Sprout's displays of affection. It was the fact that at least a dozen others were doing the same.

"What the actual fu...?"

That's right. Ivy had injected Sprout with her plant serum. She hadn't thought it would go so far as to actually turn him into a plant maker. Well, her. Now she realized that Sprout was a female. Either that, or he's got serious fucking issues. Either way, he still had issues. Sprout had bred with 8 other plant species, creating a variety of different plant cats, including one that looked like baby Simba from The Lion King, when he had all those red leaves around his neck.

That was an issue.

"Red?" Harley called out to her. She sounded unusually groggy today. Well, given last night's "exhaustion", that was expected.

"Coming, love."

She met with Harley in the kitchen, where she was sitting in the counter with a bowl of Froot Loops. Her hair was a mess. Different strands stuck out in every direction. Her hair had been taking on a dirty blonde tint lately. What with all the stress in her life lately, that was a given.

She greeted her lover with a passionate kiss. There was nothing she loved more than kissing her, and waking up every morning to see her face, always happy, always shining with a smile. Harley definitely enjoyed it when Ivy kissed her like that. She never kissed her in any other way. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

"How are you this morning? I noticed that you're especially exhausted", Ivy said with a seductive smile.

"Well, I can't complain. Nothing interesting ever happens around here, anyway."

Ivy gave a light incredulous gasp, and lightly slapped Harley in the arm, making her burst into giggles and curl away in defense.

"Kidding! I'm just kidding calm down- mmph!" She was interrupted by another kiss from Ivy, more passionate than the first. And with more tongue.

They stayed like that for a while, arms wrapped around one another, kissing passionately until they pulled away, gasping for breath. They looked at each other, lust and desire burning in their eyes. Harley pounced onto Ivy, pulling her to the kitchen floor, tearing at her nightshirt. It lifted up a little bit, revealing that Ivy wasn't wearing anything else.

That made it easier. With a mischievous look, Harley slid down.

* * *

They lay on the cool kitchen floor, gasping for breath.

"That...was amazing," Harley gasped.

"I...agree," said Ivy.

Harley wrapped her arms around Ivy's back, slowly caressing her. Ivy did the same. They lay like that for awhile, enjoying the moment. They had endured so much. All they needed was each other.

"I love you, Red."

"I love you too, my Harley angel."

Harley looked up at her lover, in awe of her beauty. Ivy smiled back. It was as if the sun had burst, and the shards had latched themselves to Ivy and Harley. There was nothing better than this.

There was a knock on their door. Ivy bolted upright. No one knew the location of their home. Actually, scratch that. By now, _ everyone knew where their house was. Batman and the GCPD (as in the entire GCPD) had located their home long ago. But still, who could it be? _

_Ivy slowly approached the door. She silently beckoned a vine towards them, should she need protection._

_"Red, be careful..."_

_Ivy nodded and moved closer._

_She opened the door. Harley and Ivy's hearts raced. They couldn't be more shocked at who was standing outside their door._

**_ Review and stuff and things. I wanna hear your thoughts. Try to keep it to positive criticism. Thanks. (Don't judge)_**


	2. The Conversation

Chapter 2

**You probably noticed the weird italics thing near the end of the chapter. Ignore it I was trying to do that to the word "everyone." Sorry.**

Ivy wasn't sure if she should be shocked our angry. She was going to go with angry. She lashed her vine towards their unwanted visitor. He jumped out of the way and into the apartment. He turned out of the way to see Harley's familiar red-and-black printed wooden mallet swinging towards his head.

Darkness.

"So, what are we going to do with you?", Ivy asked in a low tone. He opened his eyes and saw his world was literally turned upside down. He looked at his feet to see that he was suspended by a string of vines. He looked back at Ivy with a scowl.

"Let me go, Ivy."

"Tempting, Bats, but no dice!", Harley piped up.

"I think it'd be wise to listen to Harley, don't you think?", said Ivy. "She is the one with a giant wooden mallet."

"I think a nice round of pin the hammer on the Bat is in order, dontcha think, Red?" Ivy nodded her agreement.

"Before I start enjoying your... "generous hospitality"... how about I tell you why I'm here," said Batman.

"But that makes it so much less fun," replied Ivy.

Batman merely looked at her with a face that said I'll get you when I get out of here.

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Fine! We'll let you go."

Harley looked at her with incredulity, with a hint of outrage.

"Red! The whole point of trapping a Bat is so you can kill it!"

Ivy tsked at her and waved her hand, telling the vine to retreat. When it let go of him, Batman backflipped, thudding onto both feet.

"You're no fun anymore," Harley whined.

"Now, Harley. Batman's right. We have to show our generous hospitality."

Ivy turned back to Batman, her demeanor changed from sweet to angry. Harley joined at her side.

"So, what is it that you want, Dark Knight?," asked Ivy.

Batman's attitude changed. His face darkened as he remembered why he was here.

Harley and Ivy's hearts began to race. They knew, when he addressed them, that that look meant serious business. The looks on their faces changed from anger to genuine concern.

"Batsy? What's happened?," asked Harley.

"This is very bad news. For both of us," replied Batman.

"_Just tell us already!_," cried Ivy.

"The Joker's back."

* * *

**"**WHAT?!" The cry echoed through the entire apartment. Ivy turned towards Harley, who stood with an appalled and slightly disgusted look on her face. She looked down, defeated, and retreated to sit on the couch.

"Harley..." Ivy reached after her. Harley shrugged her off and sat on the couch. Ivy gasped softly, then wheeled back, advancing on Batman.

"YOU TOLD ME HE WAS _ DEAD! _YOU TOLD _ US HE WAS DEAD!"_

Batman staggered back a little bit, taken aback by the fiery redhead's fury. But then he shook his head, regaining his demeanor.

"We never found a body. Judging from the damage and the height of the fall, I assumed-"

"YOU _ ASSUMED?! _ ASSUMPTIONS NEVER GOT ANYONE ANYWHERE! WHY DON'T YOU STOP ASSUMING AND-"

"Red."

Ivy turned towards the sad Harley.

"Red, it's not Batman's fault. It's not yours. It's mine."

Ivy sat next to Harley on the couch and began stroking her dirty blonde hair.

"Harley, you can't blame yourself for what happened..." Ivy replied.

"It's not that I blame myself. It really is my fault. He came after me. He wanted me, not you. It's my fault."

Ivy sighed, not knowing what to say. She turned back to Batman, who had turned away, speaking to someone on his comm. He sounded exasperated.

"Thanks, Barbara."

He turned back to the two women seated on the couch.

"There's been a development. Joker has set bombs all over Gotham. Green boxes wrapped in purple bows. It's probably a distraction from what my sources say is his real gig at the docks."

"Why are you taking this so calmly?," asked Ivy.

Batman sighed again.

"We've known about this for a while-"

"YOU'VE KNOWN ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE. UNBELIEVABLE!"

"We never looked into it, because we were almost sure he was dead. And if he really was the Joker, he wouldn't be going so small scale."

"Well, that's just it, isn't it?," said Ivy. "You were almost sure he was dead. And the Joker's plans are never revealed outright."

"Don't think we don't know that by know, Pamela."

"Then do something about it. We were happy before you brought this into our lives. Can't you see that? We don't need this."

"I understand. I guess I'll be leaving now."

"I guess you will."

Batman left the apartment. As soon as he closed the door, Harley started sobbing. Ivy heard her with her back turned. She forced herself to keep her tears down, but her eyes burned. She sat down next Harley and rubbed her back, trying to calm her down.

"It's all right. Harley, everything's going to be fine."

Harley shrugged her off a second time. She stood up, face puffy, and advanced on Ivy.

"No, Red. It's not going to be all right. You don't get it."

"Harley, I promise you-"

"No, you can't promise anything! You can't promise me shit! You couldn't promise me anything when the fucking Joker was after us! You couldn't promise me that he was dead! You couldn't promise me I was safe! You can't promise anything! Damn you, Pamela Isley! You fucker. Damn you to hell!"

Harley stormed towards the door, opened it and left. She slammed the door so hard Ivy's plants suffered.

Ivy stared after her, tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't believe what had just happened.

Ivy began to cry.

**What do you think so far? I know in some people's minds it might be low-res crappy stuff, but roll with it.**

**EXCELSIOR**!


	3. The Takedown

Chapter 3

**To give you some imagery. The Batmobile is based off the one in Arkham Knight, as is Batman. This Batman is at peak physical and mental perfection, and is nearly indestructible.**

Batman approached the docks in the Batmobile. He had a feeling in his gut, the same familiar feeling he'd always had when he busted one of the Joker's many "dastardly plans."

He'd gotten used to it, but over a year without the Joker had made him forget it. Now that he was back, as far as they knew, he couldn't help but feel that he was home. This was what was supposed to happen. This was his life.

He shook the thought out of his head. This wasn't the time. He couldn't let the Joker define his life. He had other things to focus on. His son, for example. Damian was a troubled kid, he should focus on him.

His Batmobile turned a sharp corner, veering into the loading bay, where he was met with...

If course. Dozens of second-rate thugs. They all turned in unison towards the large black vehicle.

"It's the Bat! Get him!", yelled a thug.

Batman needed the exercise. A world without Joker meant a world with disheveled crime, which meant a bored Batman. He ejected himself from the Batmobile, and glide kicked a thug. Time slowed down. Batman quickly analyzed his environment, looking for any opportunities for advanced combat tactics. A thug attacked Batman from the side with a pipe. Batman saw this coming before he thought of it. Before the thug knew what was happening, Batman was behind him, grabbed him by the shoulders, and flung him into a pile of crates behind him. Another thug picked up his pipe and swung at Batman. Batman grabbed his wrist and twisted quickly. A satisfying crack occurred, and the thug yelled out in pain. Batman then used his other hand to grab him by his forearm and flung him down into the ground, dislocating his shoulder and cracking his skull, incapacitating him.

All the other thugs tensed, taken aback by this unusual display of violence from the Bat. Batman was done with toned down tactics. They all needed to be taken down viciously, or all they'd do is get back up again. Doing this was the only way to secure Gotham's safety.

They all jumped on the Batman with a flurry of punches. Batman wasn't even fazed. He countered three of them, and jumped out of the way of several others. He attacked with his own flurry of punches, hitting weak spots such as elbows, necks, brain stems, and knees. Five out of seven fell with groans and yelps.

The other two tried to run, but were hit by Batarangs. They fell to the floor, where they were quickly dispatched by two kicks to the head by Batman. He quickly moved on through the small groups of thugs scattered through the loading bay. He was about to enter the warehouse by Dock A when the Joker's voice came on the loudspeaker.

"Oh, Batsy! I know you can hear me."

Batman stopped in his tracks. That voice was so familiar, he couldn't help but take it in. This was his life speaking to him now.

"I'll have you know that I am very busy with my new business excursions, and you're running around ruining everything! And we can't have that, can we? I guess I'll just have to kill you!"

One of the warehouse doors crashed open, revealing a large, one armed man with a hammer. An Ambromovici brother.

"I thought I'd taken care of you in Arkham City. Hadn't you reunited with your brother?"

"My brother is dead," replied Ambromovici. "He was killed by Penguin when he found out he'd betrayed him."

"Can't say I'm not happy to hear that that's one down, one to go," said Batman.

Ambromovici growled.

"I will crush you, and then I will crush the Penguin!"

"Bring it."

* * *

Harley wandered around the East End of Gotham, trying to collect her thoughts. She knew she shouldn't have yelled at Ivy like that, it wasn't get fault. But she had no idea what it felt like. To have to be paired up with that monster. For it to always be Harley Quinn and get Joker. Now it was just Harley Quinn. Then she remembered he was back. Harley Quinn and the Joker. She shook the thought from her head. She knew Ivy would try looking for her pretty soon. She wouldn't let that happen. She needed the alone time. She couldn't let her find her.

* * *

Ivy decided to stop crying on the couch and go look for Harley. She had an idea of where she would go. The East End was her old stomping ground, and even if she didn't realize it, her mind told her that that was a safe place for her. For a former psychiatrist, she really didn't know how minds worked. Ivy opened the door and stepped outside. She wasn't sure what she would say once she found her, but she'd think of something.

She started walking.

* * *

"Bring it."

Ambromovici charged towards Batman, hammer in hand. Batman started running too. Ambromovici raised his hammer, and swung down towards Batman. At the last second Batman jumped over his hammer and kicked him in the face. Ambromovici staggered back, before regaining his footing. He roared at Batman, and lunged one mighty foot towards him. Batman kicked his other leg from underneath him before his foot was even all the way in the air. Ambromovici hit the ground with a giant crash. He jumped up, quicker than anticipated. He swung his hammer in an arc before him, and, naturally, missed. His hammer hit one of the crates, and large bags filled with white powder flew out.

Cocaine? thought Batman. Joker wouldn't move that kind of stuff. It's not what he does. What is he up to?

Ambromovici sensed the Bat's distraction, and jumped at his opportunity. He swung his hammer upward, and felt a satisfying thud and crack as he solidly hit Batman in the chin. He flipped over twice before landing with another satisfying crunch on his face. His body lay limp. Ambromovici couldn't believe it. He'd done it! All it took was a simple distraction! He roared out in triumph. He'd done it.

He'd gotten the Bat!


	4. The Confrontation

Chapter 4

**You may have noticed the clear references to Arkham City. Yes, as you may have deduced, my dear Dark Knights, this takes place within the universe, but is non canon. Also excuse typos in the previous chapter. Damn autocorrect.**

**This chapter is rated M for a mature theme. Nothing graphic, but you've been warned.**

Batman felt broken. It was the first time he'd ever felt this way. He couldn't move anything. He felt so numb, and all of a sudden he felt so tired. That was the most solid hit anyone had ever landed. Not even Bane or Croc could have landed such a hit. All because he'd been distracted. It was something he'd vow never to do again.

If he got out of this.

* * *

Harley continued on through the streets of the East End. This place had really gone downhill since she'd left. That was really saying something. This place had already been a shithole. She was sure she'd run into a couple of gangbangers soon. She turned a corner. Sure enough, a group of Two-Face's men were trolling around a corner. They turned around and saw her. They tapped each other on the shoulder and advanced towards her.

"Y'know, you're asking for trouble being around here," said one thug. "Especially dressed like that."

Harley realized she had neither her costume or makeup on. They wouldn't realize she was Harley Quinn. She saw that she was wearing her pajamas- a tube top and short running shorts. She did look pretty precocious.

They continued walking toward her. She knew their intentions. They wanted to rape her.

"I say we take her in that alley over there. Have some fun." The others nodded in agreement.

They lunged towards her, but Harley was ready. She flipped over the first thug and floored him. She delivered three quick punches to the face of the next thug. She then delivered a solid knee to the crotch and then an uppercut. She moved towards the next two and then felt a solid hit on the back of her head. She went down. Her last thought before blacking out was "how the hell did that happen?"

* * *

Ivy was starting to get worried now. She thought she'd have found Harley by now. She still didn't know what she was going to say. She turned a corner, and unfortunately ran right into Victor Zsasz. He staggered back for a second, then regained his composure and smiled at Ivy.

"Well, hello, pretty pretty."

"I don't have time for you, Zsasz. I'm looking for Harley. Now get of my way."

Ivy pushed past Victor. As she started walking, Victor grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him.

"Not so fast, my pretty pretty."

"Get off me, you filthy bastard."

"Oh, Ivy said a bad word. She needs to be punished."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She pulled away from Zsasz and tried to move on. His demeanor changed and he became irate.

"Get back here!" He grabbed at her again, more violently this time. Ivy pulled away again and slapped him across the face. He staggered back and growled, a feral look on his face. Fire burned in his eyes now.

"I didn't break outta Arkham to be slapped around by a whore with a green thumb." He removed his knife from his pants and brandished it in her face.

"I've got a place for a tally mark just for you. Would you like to see where?"

"Not particularly."

He growled again and lunged at her with the knife.

* * *

Batman slowly started to regain consciousness, and feeling in his body. Unfortunately, he felt Ambromovici dragging him by his cape into the warehouse. He looked at his surroundings, trying to find a way out. It was no use. He couldn't focus on anything, and how would he escape when he couldn't even remember how to spell escape anymore?

Ambromovici threw him into a chair, and bound him with rope.

"Thank you, deary. I'll take it from here," said a voice.

"Well, well, well. Look who crawled out of the Batcave. It's the karate rodent! Ooh, what's the matter Bats? You don't look too well! Did it hurt when Ambromovici knocked you silly? Good! Hahahahaha!"

"Shut it, freak,"growled Batman.

"Oh, Batsy! That's no way to treat your host! I'll have to punish you for being a bad Bat!" There was a pause, then excruciating pain.

"Ahhhhhh! AAAAARRGGGGHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAA!"

The Joker exploded into laughter.

"Ah ho ah hoo ah hee hee hee ho AHHHHHH HAHAHA heh heh heh."

He flipped the switch on the electric chair again, and the pain stopped. Batman gasped for breath, his ears ringing, his limbs number than ever before.

"Oh, Batsy. I'm going to kill you. But before I do that, I want you tell me where you get all those wonderful toys."

"Never. Kill me, I'll never tell you anything. You're a freak, Joker, and you always will be. No matter what happens or what you do, you're a freak and I'll always get you. One day, you'll slip up and you'll end up killing yourself. Because you're a freak and a nobody."

Batman hoped this would get Joker to shut up for a second and give Batman time to regain his senses and get the hell out of here. He was wrong. Joker began to laugh again.

"Frankly, you've not told me anything I don't know already! Most of my free time is spent in an asylum, thanks to you! And I respect your opinion, but frankly I can't handle rejection. I'm afraid you'll have to die! HAHAHAHAHA! LET'S CRANK IT UP, SHALL WE?"

The pain was unbearable now, and Batman feared he'd lost consciousness. Then he'd never wake up. He smelled something burning. Then he realized it. The ropes he'd been bound with were burning. Great, thought Batman. Now keep him talking so you can get up and get out.

* * *

Harley regained consciousness quickly. She was in the alley, bound with zip ties. The thugs were arguing about who'd "get to tap her first." She looked around with her eyes, not wanting to alert them. She wasn't sore or anything, her head didn't even hurt. But she wouldn't be able to fight with her limbs bound. She had to think of a plan, and fast.

One of the thugs realized she was awake and laughed.

"Your situation ain't looking all great, huh, dollface?"

He ignored the other thugs protesting and moved down towards her. He unzipped his pants.

"You ain't gonna enjoy this."

He was right. The pain was unbearable. This wasn't enjoyable. It wasn't consensual, and she was so afraid. He made it feel bad. He thrust inside her, pumping furiously, giving short grunts between each thrust. She tried not to react. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. But she couldn't help it. She gave a moan, one of pain, not pleasure. This gave the thug more confidence. He thrust harder and faster, and Harley gave out. She moaned with each thrust, and started to cry. It felt so bad. She felt herself beginning to climax, despite the pain. The thug was getting close as well. The thug came, and she felt his fluids inside of her. She tried hard not to come, but to no avail. She shuddered and convulsed with the painful climax. She gasped for breath, and the thugs laughed.

"My turn," said another thug. Harley's eyes widened with fear. Someone save me, please. Batman, Ivy, anyone, please!

"N-n-no... please...no..."

The new thug laughed.

"That's right. Beg. Beg for daddy." He went down on her.

* * *

Ivy dispatched of Zsasz long ago, and now she felt something terrible inside of her. Something broke. Her plants told her where Harley was, and they sounded scared. She ran. She ran like she had never run before. She turned corners and vaulted obstacles. She turned into an alley, where she was met with a horrible sight.

"Hey, it's the plant bitch!" yelled a thug.

"Get her. Maybe we can have fun with her too."

Without even flinching, she made her plants crush the thugs within seconds. She saw a huddled dark shape in the back of the alley.

No...please, Gaia, no...

"R-Red?..."

Ivy gasped and moved towards Harley. She embraced her with all her might, and sat beside her.

"Harley...what did they do?"

"Please, Red. It was terrible... they...they..."

Ivy looked at the state of her clothes, in particular her lower half, and realized what they'd done.

"They..."continued Harley.

"Shhh. It's okay, Harley. I've got you."

Harley began to cry.

"I've got you."

I've got you.


	5. The Escape

Chapter 5

**If previous chapters seemed rushed, fear not. I'm not trying to rush it. It just seems a lot longer when you're writing slower than a snail on a tiny smartphone keyboard. I'll be trying to push it up to 2,000 words.**

Harley lay in the alley, Ivy huddled around her. She felt so tired...so tired. It didn't hurt anymore, and it was nice having Ivy with her. It felt so nice. Now she could sleep. She'd wake up next to Ivy, and everything...would be...okay.

* * *

Ivy lay next to Harley in the alley, silently sobbing, holding back her tears. She felt Harley's body breathing slowly and heavily. Ivy was afraid of what Harley would feel in the morning. She was only glad that she'd fallen asleep. Ivy would sleep too, but they couldn't get caught again. Ivy was about to get up and carry Harley, but she noticed something odd. Harley's breathing was still slowing down and sounded labored. Ivy quickly pulled Harley up against the wall by her head and when she pulled it back, her hand was covered in blood.

Ivy's heart raced. Why hadn't she noticed before?

"Harley, no. Harley, God, no! Stay with me, Harley. Stay awake."

Ivy picked up Harley and carried her out of the alley. She looked around frantically, looking for something that could help them. An abandoned car or someone walking around the streets.

What was she thinking? No one would be walking around here. Her only option was to try to find a hospital. Harley's wound was still bleeding. Ivy used a nearby leaf of wall vines and used her powers to bind it. She turned a corner, and began looking for a hospital.

She only hoped she would find one in time.

* * *

Batman struggled against the ropes again. The Joker had left long ago, and Ambromovici stood watch. All Batman needed to do was get the blades on his arm to hit the rope. That's all it would take. The next step would be to get past Ambromovici. He wanted to take him out, but he definitely wasn't looking to get in a fight with him again. Batman had already regained feeling in his limbs, but he wasn't at full strength. Ambromovici had really landed a solid hit, unfortunately. Batman struggled silently for a few more seconds, and then he felt the blade slice into the blade. Before he cut the blade completely, Batman managed to grab the rope with both hands. He then twisted his arm upwards, and snapped the rope. But since he held the rope in his hands, it gave the illusion that he was still tied up.

Why would they put rope on an electric chair? wondered Batman. He looked down and saw that it wasn't an electric chair, but a hard metal chair hooked up to several car batteries, connected to a generator. It's crude structure and engineering made it a lot more painful than an actual electric chair. It doubled the pain of a real one, but had a much lower risk of any fatalities. The thing that got him was that Joker knew that. If he wanted Batman's pain to last, why would he bind him in rope. This was making less and less sense.

What was he up to?

* * *

Ivy realized that she couldn't take Harley to a hospital. As soon as she said "Harleen Quinzel" some dumb bitch orderly would call the cops, regardless of the fact that their records were expunged and their warrants dropped. Ivy was getting so tired. She was strong, but not strong enough to carry Harley around half the city. The only person she knew could help her was...

Batman.

But where was he? Ivy tried to remember where he said he'd been going. But she had been so angry.

"Think, Pamela, think", Ivy told herself. Where was he going? She thought back to what he'd said before he left.

"_ It's probably a distraction from his real gig down at-"_

The docks!

They were in the Diamond District of the city now. Ivy knew the docks were down Main Street, and they were a couple of blocks away from Main. Ivy bolted down the street again, Harley in her arms. Harley stayed in her labored state. Ivy's bandage helped with her situation, but she was still failing. Another half hour and she'd be gone forever. Ivy shook the thought from her head. Ivy wouldn't lose Harley.

She ran down Main Street.

* * *

Batman needed a distraction in order to escape. But in his current "bound" state, distractions were non-existent. There was only one distraction that he could use.

Batman sighed. He let go of the rope. Instantly, Ambromovici ran towards him.

"Hey! How did you do that! Come here, you little shit." He advanced towards him, and grabbed him by the neck. He raised his hammer.

Batman quickly thought of a plan, but before he could execute it, a shot rang out, and blood splattered on Batman's suit and face. He and Ambromovici looked down to see that he had taken a shot through the back.

And exited into Batman. Batman's enhanced military grade Kevlar suit was strong, but whatever had shot Ambromovici wasn't low scale.

Cop killer bullets. Strong enough to pass through bullet proof vests. These were enhanced.

Ambromovici dropped Batman and turned towards his shooter. Batman looked up and saw the Joker standing on a ledge near the end of the warehouse, gun pointed at Ambromovici. He had a slightly angry look on his face.

"Nobody kills the Bat but me!," he cried.

Ambromovici roared at Joker and ran towards the short ledge, hammer raised. Joker began giggling and fired several shots at the charging Ambromovici and hit him in the shoulder, stomach, and left rib. Despite the wounds and clear pain, Ambromovici continued and brought his hammer down towards Joker. The hammer destroyed the small scaffolding supporting him, but Joker leapt out of the way with surprising agility, and somehow managed to land on his feet.

Even more surprising.

This caused Batman to come to a shocking conclusion. A copycat.

Batman understood why. Joker was a martyr, the face of crime. To use the Clown Prince of Crime as your new persona was to inspire fear and hope.

But this man, whoever he was, had planned this for a while. You don't convince the criminal underworld that you're the Joker by coming out of the blue and hoping they took your word for it.

Batman was brought back to earth by the sound of Ambromovici hitting the floor. He had taken a round in the head. The whole back of his head was blown apart. Hollow point cop killer bullets. This was the kind of advanced military bullet that you put in attack helicopter firearms, not handguns. This Joker copycat knew how to modify guns to deadly ability. But he was still a copycat

Batman ran after him, throwing a Batarang at the retreating Joker. He dodged it, and delivered a quick shot at Batman. It missed its target and the gun was knocked away by another Batarang. Before Batman could advance towards Joker, Joker pulled another gun from his belt and shot Batman in the chest. Batman fell to the ground with a groan. But this was a regular bullet.

Guess you can't make two of those cop killer guns.

Still hurt, though. Batman looked up at Joker, who was walking away from his injured prey.

"You're not the Joker," said Batman.

The copycat stopped. He turned his head towards Batman. A grin cracked against his porcelain face.

"Oh, Bats. You should know...there's no one else like me." He walked away cackling.

Batman wasn't letting him get away. He forced himself to get up.

* * *

Ivy had found the docks. She knew Batman was here, but she didn't think he was doing so well.

Neither was she. She was tired more than ever. The Batmobile sat destroyed on the loading bay. Pity. Ivy had always wanted to destroy that big black machine. She didn't want to do it, but she couldn't carry Harley any longer. She took some crates and made a small alcove between it, the Batmobile, and the wall. She left Harley in it, and ran towards the open warehouse. The first thing she saw was the Joker, firing a shot at Batman. She heard Batman say something, and then the Joker replied.

"There's no one else like me."

The Joker ran out of the warehouse, and was met with Ivy. She was shaking with anger. This was her chance. She was going to end this right now. She used the vine wrapped around her arm and struck at his neck, grabbing him and lifting him in the air, choking him. He struggled for air, grasping at the vine.

"Let...me go...acch..."

"No. You wrecked my life. I'm going to end you, once and for all. I promise you, you won't be coming back."

"Look, lady. I...don't know...acch...what you think you think...I've done...acch..."

Ivy froze. What? How could he forget what he'd done to her? What kind of sadistic bastard was he?

Ivy's distraction cost her. The Joker raised his gun, and fired.

* * *

Batman heard a shot ring out near the warehouse's exit. Batman pushed himself on, and turned out of the warehouse. He was met with an unusual sight. Poison Ivy lay on the ground, clutching her arm. Joker had shot her in her upper arm. Batman raced towards her.

"Ivy! Are you all right?" He helped her to her feet.

"I'm fine, get off me."

"What are you doing here?"

"I needed your help. Harley-she.."

"Tell me later. I have a criminal to catch."

Batman ran off.

Ivy picked up Harley again and ran for cover. Joker's goons were firing shots at anything that moved now. She didn't need to get shot again.

She created a small field of ivy (see the pun!) to protect them. She only hoped Batman would catch the Joker and then they could get the hell out of here.

* * *

Batman chased Joker up the maintenance stairs to the roof. Joker fired blind shots at Batman with surprising accuracy. Batman actually had to move out of the way a couple of times. Batman fired his grappling line at the Joker and pulled him by his feet. Joker fell with a grunt. He flipped on his back and fired a shot at Batman. He moved, but his shoulder was clipped by the bullet.

Batman lost his balance and fell over the roof. He grabbed the edge and held on. Easier said than done. It had begun to rain, and Batman's grip was already weak. He knew Joker's plan. He tortured Batman and let him escape, so it'd be easier to kill him. Whoever this asshole was, it was a smart asshole. Struggling to get up, he saw Joker cutting at the line with a knife. Batman pulled himself onto his stomach and got up. Blinded for a moment by the ringing in his ears affecting his overall brain function, Joker threw a right hook at Batman. His fist made a solid crunch against Batman's jaw.

Batman struggled around for a few seconds and threw a confused punch at Joker, which he easily dodged. Batman heard something being unsheathed and had no time to react before Joker plunged his knife in his gut. Batman grabbed at the knife and struggled for control as Joker tried to twist the knife around. Overmatched for the moment, Joker took out a pair of brass knuckles and put them on. Batman pulled the knife out of his stomach. Joker walked towards Batman. His face was illuminated by lightning, a grin cracked across it again.

"Come on, Batman. Let's get ready to tango!"

Joker swung a single punch at Batman, which he caught. Batman solidly punched Joker in the face and swung him to the ground by the arm. He punched Joker's head into the hard metal roof, and picked him up by his limbs. He threw him into the roof again. Before Joker could get up, Batman kicked him in the ribs. Joker went careening across the roof. He started breathing heavily.

"What...*cough cough* what are you doing?"

"Fighting dirty. I'm not the calm calculating Batman the Joker once knew."

He approached Joker and lifted him to his feet. He drew his fist back and was about to strike, but Joker was ahead of him. He landed a solid punch to his stomach wound.

Batman staggered back, the pain surprising and, well, painful.

"And I'm not the Joker you once pushed around! I am the Joker, but I'm the Joker that's better than ever. I prepared for this moment for a long time. Our first confrontation in a year, and it's gonna end in your death!"

With a cry, he executed a flying kick at Batman. Shocked beyond comprehension, Batman took the kick in the face and flipped over. He landed with a groan. He struggled to his feet to be met by a straight jab to the face. Joker's brass knuckles dealt a lot of damage.

"Joker, stop. This is insane. Knock me around all you want, I'll always catch you."

"Knock you around? Gladly!"

Joker sent another flying punch his way. Batman moved out of the way and towards the edge of the roof.

"Joker! Stop this! I'm taking you down. Give up! This is insane!"

Joker pondered this for a split second, then grinned and moved towards Batman.

"Insane?" He moved closer and tensed his leg."

"This...is...JOKER!"

He flung his leg at Batman, and Batman felt his boot his wound. Batman flew back, and off the roof.

* * *

Ivy heard a shout and then a body hitting the ground with a crack. She huddled closer to Harley, fearing what had happened. She heard a deep groan and heavy breathing. She knew those deep tones. Batman?

"You set yourself up for that one, Bats!" Ivy heard the Joker cackle

She lowered her field of ivy (see the pun again!) to see Batman splayed across the ground. Blood was bubbling up at his mouth.

Great, thought Ivy. A dying Harley and an injured Bat. Could this night get any worse?

Batman was her only hope, and now he was out of the game. Ivy helped the miraculously still conscious Batman to his feet.

"Can you stand?"

"Yes, but I'll need help moving. The fall hurt my leg."

He looked over at Harley.

"I'll carry her over my shoulder, and you help me." Ivy nodded.

They made their way towards the end of the loading bay.

"What's the plan?,"asked Ivy.

"The Batmobile is still operational. We get there and get the hell out of here."

"Sounds like a plan."

They moved on, and heard shots behind them. Joker's dulcet tones rang across the loading bay.

"Why won't you die?! You and your plant bitch girlfriend!"

They ignored him and moved on. Joker started running.

"Turn around," said Ivy. Batman looked at her. "Do it."

They turned, and Ivy raised her arm. A green energy glowed around her hand. Joker slowed. Ivy drew her hand back and thrust it towards Joker. The stream of green light hit his chest and lifted him into the air. He landed with a crunch on the ground. He lay limp.

Ivy smiled, then groaned. Her arm hurt worse because her energy was drained out now.

They reached the Batmobile.

Batman opened the hatch and laid Harley in the backseat. Ivy moved to the back as well. Batman started the car and peeled out of the docks. He looked at the rearview mirror (yes the Batmobile had a rearview mirror) at Harley.

"What happened to her?"

Ivy tensed.

"Some...thugs...attacked her. They..."

Batman nodded.

"They hit her head, too. I patched it up, but she still needs help. She's fading faster now."

Batman drove on.

"I'm going to have you knock you out with some gas. No one can know the location of the Batcave. I'm sorry."

"It's all right, I get it."

Ivy looked at the injured Bat. A busted leg, knife and two gunshot wounds, and probably a couple of fractured vertebrae. And yet he looked like all that happened was that he didn't get enough sleep. Batman slowed down and stopped at a corner.

"All right. I'm going to knock you out now."

He reached for his spray...Bat-Gas...thing.

"Before you do, can I ask you something?"

"No."

He sprayed her face. Ivy talked quickly as possible before she went out.

"How do you...take all that...unfazed...?"

Just before she blacked out, she heard his answer.

"I'm Batman."

**Hope you enjoyed this especially long chapter. Damn, I'm good. Also insane, 'cause this was all one flowing thought.**

**More to come! Review please! **


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